The new dad and baby “stuff”

As an expectant dad you will be overwhelmed with the amount of stuff your kid “needs” or that you are supposed to register for. A friend of mine who is expecting his first child soon asked me recently “what stuff do we actually need?”. To help all future dads out I’ve listed the main items below with an honest description of how much we have used each in the first three weeks.

A crib: IMG_1611

Our son has laid in this wonderfully constructed (by yours truly), beautifully decorated, and extremely safe crib for maybe 45 minutes since we brought him home a few weeks ago. In all fairness, we have to feed him every three hours so he has been sleeping in the bassinet shown below in our bedroom most of the time at night. We also took the advice of some friends and got a convertible crib that will convert into a toddler bed in a few years. The height of the bed within the crib actually lowers so as he grows we can lower it to thwart his eventual escape plans.

 

A Bassinet: IMG_1350

This is where our son sleeps the majority of the night. We placed it right next to our bed so that we can hear all that is going on and check on him throughout the night. As I mentioned before right now we are feeding him every three hours so it makes the process much easier to have him in our bedroom. The bassinet that was given to us has music, a mobile that moves, lights, it vibrates, and can even swing from side to side. I never really got the point of mobiles or the lights until this week when I turned it on and all of the sudden he was watching it like I watch SEC Football games, he just couldn’t look away. I don’t know who designed that one but I bet they have an advanced degree in baby psychology.

 

A changing table: IMG_1613

This is by far the easiest place to change the baby. I thought it was crazy that you had to have a special dresser with a special mattress inside of a special box on top of the special dresser to change your baby. However, it is the perfect height and with everything you need to change the baby’s diaper stored inside this is by far the most convenient place to change your baby.

 

Diapers: IMG_1398

You can never have enough diapers before the baby comes. Let me repeat, you can never have enough diapers before the baby comes. You are going to go through them…all of them. One of the best pieces of advice I got before the baby came was from a friend of mine who had just had twins. His advice was that every time you go to the grocery store go ahead and just buy a box of diapers. Change up the sizes but always buy a box. My wife and I learned in one the classes offered by the hospitals that new babies can go through up to 12 diapers a day. Our son has already gone through 20 in a 24 hour period. Newborns will go whenever they want. This includes right after you’ve changed them and while your changing them. If you know you are having a boy please buy some “pee pee teepees”. I know, I know, sounds ridiculous doesn’t it? But when cold air hits what God gave him while your changing his diaper and he starts spraying you, the walls, the table, his clean diaper and clothes, the dog, the rug, and the rest of the room you will thank whoever came up with the “pee pee teepee” idea.

A diaper disposal: IMG_1614

Here’s where you can save some money. This diaper disposal “locks” so the smell won’t escape and the company that makes it sells “special” bags for the dirty diapers. Buy a trashcan with a heavy lid that closes, use your standard trash bags, and call it a day.

A glider: IMG_1612

I actually used this a lot to rest while I was putting all the nursery furniture together, painting, hanging pictures etc… It is a comfortable chair for moms and dads. However, you want to make sure that it is comfortable for the mother as this has become my wife’s favorite place to nurse the baby. It has also become my favorite spot to give our son a bottle.  It doesn’t matter which glider you buy just make sure it is comfortable for your child’s mother as she and you will be spending a lot of time in it.

A carseat: IMG_1557

The most important pieces of advice I can offer when picking a carseat out of the vast ocean of options available is this: 1. Buy a carseat that you feel is safe. 2. Buy a carseat that fits well in your specific vehicle. 3. Buy a carseat that fits into a certain stroller system or can be adapted to do so. This makes life much easier when moving from car to strollers. 4. If possible buy a carseat that fits into bases you can buy for each car. This will save you from buying multiple carseats. Our  trips with the baby have been limited to the trip home from the hospital and trips to the pediatrician but our son seems to love being confined to the carseat. He has yet to cry and seems content when we are on the road…..so far.

 

A stroller: IMG_1617

The standard stroller we picked out snaps in with our carseat. We haven’t used this much yet but it folds up to take up a small amount of space and will be kept in my wife’s car. As we travel more with the baby I can see this being used extensively.

 

Jogging Stroller: IMG_1618

You don’t really need a jogging stroller unless you plan on walking and jogging with your child or needing a stroller on rough terrain. As a long distance runner I went ahead and bought the jogging stroller knowing I will use it. This jogging stroller also snaps in with the carseat.  We’ve taken one family walk with the dog so far but this is mainly because of the heat. It’s been under 90 degrees maybe two days since our son was born. I see us going on many more walks and runs once the temperature drops down in the fall. Also if you plan on taking your child to any events located on grass or dirt I would recommend a jogging stroller. It can go anywhere.

 

A special baby bathtub: IMG_1615

In three weeks we haven’t used this once. However, until your child’s umbilical cord falls off you can only sponge bathe them. Still the thought of putting our child in even a shallow amount of water even after this cord fell off scares us. We bought another little bathing chair (for $15) which allows for us to sponge bathe him pretty easily. I plan on using this until he can hold his own head up and then we will transition into the fancy special baby tub with its digital thermometer.

 

A moses basket: IMG_1601

We actually didn’t register for this and did not have one when our son was born. However, we live in a split level house with many stairs and carrying  him up and down from room to room in our arms (especially at night) made us nervous after a while. The moses basket makes it easy to carry the baby from room to room and their comfort level stays the same. We also keep the baby in it by the dining room table when we eat dinner at night.

 

The “Pack n Play”: IMG_1621

This is really supposed to be used more when you travel but we’ve used it a lot already. I’d make sure to buy one that is convertible from an infant napper and changing table to bassinet to full play pen. We keep ours in our living room and this allows us to have a place to change him without going up to the nursery and our son seems to like laying in the napper portion.

 

The MamaRoo: IMG_1550 IMG_1593

This is the grand slam, hail mary pass, buzzer beater jump shot of baby supplies. When I first saw the price tag for this thing I thought we were crazy for buying it. However, at 3 am on the second night home when our son was crying non-stop I would have paid 10x what we paid for it when he instantly stopped crying (just don’t tell the guys at 4moms that). This thing has several movement settings (car ride, kangaroo, tree swing etc..) with five speed settings. It has several sounds available (ocean, rain, fan etc…) and aux input for your mp3 player or phone. Thats right you get to make a playlist for your kid. This is our go to when our son is crying and cannot be consoled. It instantly calms him and keeps him that way. Our pediatrician advised not letting him sleep in this more than a few hours a day/night. However, remember those few 3 hour stretches of continuous sleep I mentioned in my previous post? All of those stretches have come when our son has been in the MamaRoo.

 

 

Baby Carrier: IMG_1584

At the advice of many friends and family members we chose the Ergo Baby Carrier which is shown above and yes the baby is inside the carrier in that picture. Like many of the items I’ve posted the baby carrier converts as the child grows. We bought an infant insert and this has become my favorite way to carry my son. My wife has yet to use it but I think she will soon. You can walk around the house, clean bottles, sit at your desk and type, and even do laundry with the baby in the carrier. It allows you to be hands free and keeps the newborn close to you which is exactly where they want to be.

 

Bottles, special bottle warmer, and bottle sterilizer bags: IMG_1591

It really doesn’t matter which bottles you buy just make sure you have a lot of them as your baby will be eating every couple of hours if you are formula feeding, supplementing with formula, or using pumped milk. As you can’t microwave bottles with milk or formula in them the bottle warmer is a huge asset so you don’t have to place it in warm water on the stove or crock pot. Also, once bottles are washed in the dishwasher or hand washed they have to be sterilized. You can buy special bags to sterilize the bottles and all accessories which can be used up to twenty times.

 

Swaddle Blankets: IMG_1533

Swaddling your baby makes them feel like they are in the womb by keeping their hands and feet constrained. Our son, however, wants his arms up at all times and will fight like Mike Tyson to get them out. He does like his legs constrained though. I’ve found the best swaddle blankets are the thinner blankets a bit larger than the ones they give you in the hospital. The longer they are the tighter you can pull and tuck to make the blanket more secure. I swaddle our son every night and honestly most nights he punches out of it within minutes. I do feel it helps to calm them down though.

 

Infant Pacifier: IMG_1532

I saved the best for last. The hospital will send you home with a few of these with a vanilla scent. Go ahead and buy some more before the baby comes. This calms the baby and as soon as it falls out they will consider it a crisis and will let you know it. However, if you want some sleep, buy some pacifiers. Buy some stock in companies that make pacifiers too…they aren’t going anywhere.

The Moment You Become A Dad

Every dad I talked to prior to my son being born told me it would happen and it just didn’t register because I had heard it so many times.

“As soon as you see your child for the first time your entire outlook on life changes completely”, they told me.

Many guys I’ve talked to can’t remember their emotions at that exact moment but luckily for me my mother-in-law caught it on camera the first time I saw my son.

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Yep, thats my face at the exact moment I first saw my son. In that face you can see excitement, fear, shock, awe, sleep deprivation, and unconditional love. If you look at it longer I’m sure you can find more emotions but from a one second glance those are the ones I was able to come up with. The exact time this photo was taken was 6:52 pm on July 8th. My wife and I had been up since 3 am that morning when she first began feeling contractions. I did the thing all the books said to do and started writing down the times of the contractions and how long they lasted using the stopwatch on my iPhone (contraction timing – there’s an app for that).

I put “sleep deprivation” in the description of the picture above only because at the time that photo was taken I thought I was “sleep deprived” and thought  I really knew what those words meant. I didn’t. The truth is that the night (early morning) that my wife went into labor I had gone to bed at 10 pm. So I had slept a good five hours straight before she woke me up to tell me about her contractions. Not to scare any future dads expecting their first child anytime soon out there but I have not slept more than three hours in one stretch in the three weeks since my son was born. In fact, the nights we spent in the hospital were the worst as nurses and doctors came in constantly to check my on my wife and baby by taking their vital signs, blood pressure, etc… The longest stretch of sleep in the hospital uninterrupted may have been 90 minutes.

I hadn’t slept much in the days leading up to his birth either. The week before our son was born we had a terrible storm in Memphis and I woke up one morning to the damage in the pictures you see below:

IMG_1468IMG_1465IMG_1463 IMG_1470

It was the middle of summer in the south with temperatures near 100 degrees and my pregnant wife (who was already sweating when I had the AC on 65 degrees in the house) was going to have to deal with no power and AC for who knows how long. If my wife went into labor we would’t even be able to bring our son home to his nursery that we had worked so hard on. The insurance claims department wasn’t much help and it would eventually take the adjuster 3 weeks to view the damage (after we were home with my son). Luckily we had a great contractor who was able to get the majority of the work finished in just a few days after getting approval from our local agency. However, I will always be able to tell my son that I met our homeowner’s insurance deductible and our health insurance deductible within the same seven day period in July 2015.

I learned pretty quickly that there is no fairy tale wand that makes all the world perfect when you become a parent. The problems you had before the baby will still be there after the baby comes….you’ll just care about those other problems (including lack of sleep) a whole lot less….

That moment I became a dad changed everything just like every other dad had always told me. I just didn’t grasp it until that moment and until you’re a dad for the first time…you won’t either.

I think my favorite part of that day besides seeing my son for the first time was seeing both of my parents get to see my son for the first time. They both drove separately from Georgia after I called early that morning to say that the hospital had decided to keep  us and that “this is it”. My mom got to the hospital a few hours before our son was born and my dad got there a few hours after. As I watched them look my son I realized that the torch had been passed.

IMG_1513

My identity was no longer kid, sales rep, athlete, journalist, Ole Miss Grad (Hotty Toddy!) or anything I had been referred to in the past. I was now  “husband and dad” and I realized that raising the baby that came screaming into this world a few hours earlier would be my greatest legacy when I looked back on my life 50 years from now.  I also realized that he would totally consume my life from here on out (hence this blog).

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