After getting home from being in Le Bonheur for 4 days we were completely exhausted. The pictures of him laying with our dog, Maddox, and going on a walk with us in my previous post were art of the “honeymoon” phase that lasted all of 8 hours. Parks had to be fed 2 oz of formula every 3 hours but because it took him so long to take each bottle it felt like we were feeding him every two hours. Hence, we still weren’t getting any sleep whatsoever at all and Parks was miserable. We eventually increased the formula and within a few days he was up to his normal 3 oz every 3 hours. However, it was taking a full hour to feed him and we had to burp him between every ounce of formula.

Parks during his second trip to the ER.

Even though he had just had surgery to fix his Pyloric Stenosis the little guy was still spitting up (not throwing up) more than we thought he should. Every time we burped him he screamed as if he was in pain. We didn’t know if this was from the surgery or if something else was wrong. He seemed fussy all the time and just did not seep happy at all.

We came home from Le Bonheur on a Friday morning and on Thursday of the next week at 10 pm I went to change Parks’ diaper before putting him to bed. Not to be graphic but I easily saw blood in his diaper and was immediately worried this was a result of something that had gone wrong with the surgery. We called the pediatrician’s office and received the nurse on call who instructed us to go back to the ER at Le Bonheur.

Our pediatrician again called ahead so we wouldn’t have to wait long but unfortunately the ER was packed as we arrived around 11 pm that night. The first time we went there was hardly anybody there and they took us right back. As Parks had just had surgery a few days before they got him back pretty quick but we still had to wait awhile. Sitting in that waiting room I saw families from all over and their children had everything from what seemed like the flu to hurt arms and legs. Every parent in that waiting room looked exhausted and I’m sure when they looked into my face they saw the same.

We got back into our ER room and they immediately tested Parks’ stool and sure enough there was blood in it. They ran more tests, some tests, additional tests, we waited, waited some more and at 4:45 am they finally moved us up to a room on the 12^th floor of Le Bonheur. I wish I could give more details on our time in the ER but we were there from 11 pm to 4:45 am and I was doing all I could to stay awake. Parks received a new IV (it luckily didn’t take 5 sticks this time) and we were told we would see a GI doctor in the morning.

Shortly after arriving on the 12^th floor we noticed a big difference from our first hospital stay. The 12^th floor was the GI floor and had children of all ages on it. Parks’ hospital crib was much bigger and was not elevated with a set place for him to sleep as the crib on the 8^th floor provided. There were no rockers, mobiles, or swings for him and when we requested formula to feed him they had to go down to the 8^th floor (the infant floor) to get it. However, this is no normal hospital, and the next day when we requested to be moved to the 8^th floor, they moved us. One of Lynley’s friends told us we could request this and thought it was awkward and the Hospitalist pushed back a little we ended up getting our way. I try to be a nice guy most of the time but when it comes to my kid and the fact that I’d had no sleep I’ll admit I was a push jerk plenty of times during this hospital stay.

Early the next morning the Hospitalist’s main concern was not the blood in Parks’ stool but the fact that he had not gained any weight since his surgery. She believed the bleeding to be a result of a protein allergy and we were switched back to Nutramigen (the hash brown smelling formula) and she told us we could not leave the hospital until Parks started gaining weight.

To be honest I was now more scared then I was when he had the surgery. He has a surgery and they fix the problem but now we didn’t know what the real problem was so they began running tests. They conducted another ultrasound to check his stomach and all looked good. They did blood tests and all was normal. Test after test after test was run and they all came back normal. Why wasn’t my son gaining weight?

Our Hospitalist then requested we see a speech pathologist for a swallow study. My first thought was, “Our son can’t talk so why does he need to see a speech pathologist?”

However, the speech pathologist is the one that would end up being Parks’ hero and finding out what was wrong with him. Well, the two things wrong with him. Speech Pathologists now hold a special place in my mind and I am sincerely grateful for what they do.

By studying the shape of his mouth and the way he latched with his tongue we learned we were using the worst possible bottle and nipple specifically for our son. Dr. Brown makes an awesome bottle and nipple but for Parks they just weren’t the right shape or size. We were told to switch to a Nuk bottles with a fast flow nipple.

The speech pathologist then conducted a barium swallow study where she watched Parks swallow with a Radiologist in a huge imaging machine. We found out quite a bit of what Parks’ swallowed was going in his windpipe causing him to aspirate. The way you fix this problem is by thickening the formula to a consistency of honey. So now not only do we have hash brown smelling formula we have to add powder to make it thick (and impossible to clean off surfaces).

To make one of these bottles took about 10 minutes at first. The powder was clumpy and had to be shaken for 5 minutes. Sometimes it was so clumpy it would clog the nipple hole and we would have to wash the nipple or switch the nipple 3 to 4 times during a feeding. However, Parks was keeping it down so we just went with it. After 2 days of making bottles this way it finally hit me, “ If I could just use a blender and liquefy this stuff it wouldn’t clog!”

The nurses and doctors were skeptical but after speaking with the speech pathologist and dietician they told me this was completely acceptable when making thickened formula in book. So now, every night I throw formula, water, and 8 packs of thickening powder into our Ninja Blender and let it rip. We make bottles for the next 24 hours every night so all we have to do is take the bottle out of the refrigerator and warm it.

Even with the clogged nipples Parks’ feeding times started declining quickly. I mentioned at the beginning of the blog that it took him over an hour to take a bottle. We found out at the hospital he was actually burning more calories than he was taking in by taking so long to eat. He was supposed to be able to take 3 oz in under 20 minutes. It took him a bottle or two to get used to the new nipple but after he did he took a bottle in 15 minutes, then 12 minutes, then 8 minutes, and then 4 minutes. We were told that the 4 minutes was too fast and we needed to stop and burp him several times between ounces to slow him down. This was all within 24 hours of the swallow study so I’m giving my thanks again to the Speech Pathologist!

After 4 days in the hospital Parks’ finally got the ok to go home. We got the word that Saturday that he would go home on Sunday and Parks’ grandfather (my father-in-law) got back from his fishing trip in Alaska just in time to come see us late that afternoon. Our hospital room was pretty full with people that day and I was just plain exhausted after only getting an hour or two of sleep each night. Therefore, I made the 20 minute drive home to let Maddox (our dog) out and take him on a walk as he hadn’t seen us in a few days and Parks had become his buddy as well. However, we never made it on that walk as I crashed on the couch for about an hour before heading back to the hospital (Maddox laid beside me the whole time). That may have been the best one-hour nap of my life!

Dad and Parks home from the hospital for the second time!

I’m happy to report now, about 6 weeks later, that Parks is now taking seven 4 oz bottles a day and is gaining weight like crazy. We even get to skip the 3 am feeding…WHOOO HOOO! The last time the doctor weighed him he was over 12 lbs and judging by our home scale which is not as accurate he is now close to 13 lbs and difficult to pick up out of a bathtub. We go back for another swallow study in November and hopefully we will get to go back to just normal formula until 6 months and then start introducing him to solid foods. To all of you who prayed for Parks and kept us in your thoughts we are sincerely grateful! My next few blog posts will get back to normal dad stuff!

Giving the touchdown signal for his first college football game!

2 month old picture after a rough 2 months!

Jersey and Cole Haans on for his first Ole Miss Game. Hotty Toddy!

The Two Weeks That Made My Hair Start Turning Grey – Part 1

It has been a while since my last blog and it is for a good reason. As you may recall on my last blog I mentioned that our son had reflux, that we were on expensive formula, and he cried all of the time because of it. Well, little did we know that Parks had a much more serious condition and we actually found out by accident. As the last few weeks have been very eventful I have decided to break up this blog post into several posts.

Part 1

At an early routine visit to our awesome Pediatrician (with Memphis Pediatrics) we found out that Parks had a “click” in his hip. As it didn’t go away we after a few weeks we scheduled a visit with  a top pediatric orthopedic specialist at The Campbell Clinic. The specialist had us schedule an ultrasound for the next week at the local hospital to make sure it wasn’t moving out of socket.

In the meantime we were making weekly trips to our pediatrician to check Parks’ weight. Even with the new expensive formula he still was spitting up way too much and not gaining weight fast enough. Our pediatrician had mentioned to us about a rare condition called “Pyloric Stenosis” but said that as Parks’ was not vomiting forcefully he didn’t fit the mold for the condition. However, as she knew we already had an ultrasound scheduled for his hip she called and had the ultrasound team go ahead and take a look at his stomach too. This would ultimately probably save our son’s life.

I had a few meetings the morning of the ultrasound so I drove to the local hospital separate from my wife and son. Of course the ultrasound was delayed so I had to leave before they actually went back for the tests. I came back home and got on a conference call for an hour or so and when I got off I had voicemails from my wife and the doctor and several texts. When I finally got a hold of my wife she told me we needed to pack our bags and head down to Le Bonheur Children’s Hospital right away because Parks’ did indeed have Pyloric Stenosis and he would need surgery right away!

I bet you are asking, “What is Pyloric Stenosis?” just as I was. As I am not a doctor I have listed the Mayo Clinic’s definition below:

“Pyloric stenosis is an uncommon condition affecting the opening (pylorus) between the stomach and small intestine in infants. The pylorus is a muscular valve that holds food in the stomach until it is ready for the next stage in the digestive process.

In pyloric stenosis, the pylorus muscles thicken, blocking food from entering the baby’s small intestine. Pyloric stenosis can lead to forceful vomiting, dehydration and weight loss. Babies with this condition may seem to always be hungry.”

Parks was able to keep some food down (not a lot though), he peed a lot so he wasn’t very dehydrated, and he only spit up and never vomited. So he wasn’t a textbook case for this condition. Only 3 in 1000 babies have it and first-born Caucasian males are 4 times more likely to have it than others. Even though he didn’t have the textbook symptoms of Pyloric Stenosis our pediatrician still called for us to test it for it. This is the sign of a great doctor and we owe her more than she will ever know. If you need a pediatrician in the Memphis area I highly recommend her and the doctors in her practice. I say this because within 12 hour he did have the textbook symptoms, our doctor just caught it very early.

Upon arriving at Le Bonheur we proceeded directly to the emergency department. Luckily, our pediatrician had called ahead for us so we did not have to stay in the waiting room very long. We got back to our ER room and they then put an IV in my little boys arm. However, it took 5 tries 3 nurses and over 30 minutes to do so due to his tiny veins and the fact that he was dehydrated due to his condition. They then began giving him fluids getting him hydrated enough for surgery.

Parks and I in the ER. The soft cast around his arm was to prevent him from knocking out the IVs they had in his hand.

**** The next paragraph is graphic

After several hours we finally were put in a room on the eighth floor, the infant floor. We arrived right at the time the nurses change shifts and if our poor nurse knew what that night would be like she probably would have run straight out of the hospital. Before we knew it Parks was throwing up very forcefully. Only he had not had anything to eat so all he could throw up was brown stomach fluid, acid, and dried blood from all the irritation from his esophagus. Throughout the night he threw up more and more to the point that it was happening about every ten minutes. Our poor nurse, Laura Beth, had to change his sheets and pads probably 30 times because he threw up so much. He would begin to choke and I’d have to rush over to hold him and turn him face down so he could get it out. We didn’t sleep one second that night and it was by far the worst night of my life.

The previous day when we found out he needed surgery my wife and I were very scared and worried about the surgery itself. After our first night in Le Bonheur watching Parks throw up so much and exhibit the true symptoms of Pyloric Stenosis we were ready for the surgery by daybreak. We were told throughout the night that Parks would have his surgery first thing in the morning. However, due to delays this did not happen. I should also mention that my mother, who lives in Atlanta, had her gall bladder out on the exact same morning and she and Parks now share the same scars.

Parks the morning of his surgery.

Parks’ surgeon came by and told us he needed the radiology team to do another ultrasound to get better measurements around 6 am. After a few hours we rolled Parks down for the ultrasound and I could tell my 4-week-old little boy was worn out. We went back to the room and a few hours later finally got called down to surgery.

My wife with Parks in his hospital room before his surgery.

As we stood next to Parks’ crib with him in the pre-op area I had never been so nervous in my life. The anesthesiologist and the nurses could not have been nicer but looking at someone that small knowing that someone is about to cut into them changes you. The worst feeling in my entire life up until that point was watching them come and roll my little boy away. My wife and I stood there just looking at each other and to be honest I almost lost it. I don’t get emotional often but if a nurse hadn’t walked up to us at that point I would have been a mess, I admit it.

However, Le Bonheur has a plan for this exact thing. That nurse walked up and then took us down a hallway, a hallway filled with toys for all ages and told us to pick out something for Parks to give him after his surgery. Now, our son was only 4 weeks old so he’s not going to be playing with any toys anytime soon. My wife and I looked for a while and eventually settled on a wooden forklift with stackable blocks. Looking back I really don’t know why we picked the forklift. Maybe it’s because Parks’ grandfather owns a company with a warehouse that has forklifts but I really have no idea.

Sitting in the waiting room just didn’t seem like a good idea at the time so my wife and I went to the cafeteria (the surgery team had our cell phone numbers to keep us updated). We ordered food but ate very little and luckily my father-in-law met us down there so we didn’t have to sit alone. After spending some time in the cafeteria we went back up to the surgery waiting room and before too long I got a call saying Parks was done and we were supposed to go to a small room to speak with his surgeon. He told us the surgery was a success and around thirty minutes later we got to go see Parks in recovery.

He was covered in blankets and sleeping peacefully when we first saw him. Due to him being an infant they got him back up to our room on the eighth floor. Its important to note here that while he was in surgery they switched out his monitor that monitors heart rate, respiration, etc.… to a much a monitor with much more sensitive settings.

Parks in recovery after his surgery.

“Hashbrown the Tiger” with the same scars Parks has. Luckily the gift shop also had permanent markers.

Due to the new monitor and the fact that our son also liked to kick and pull his sensors off, the nurse that night had her work cut out for her. Luckily for us we got another great nurse, probably one of the best at Le Bonheur. Nurse Jodie came in with a smile on her face every time that monitor went off that night. Whether it was 1:08 am, 3:17 am, 3:28 am, etc. she came in happy every time. My wife and I had experienced a few very rough days by this point and I think Jodie may have helped us more than she helped Parks. Her attitude made us smile, laugh, and feel energized even though we were both dead tired. If nurse Jodie ever reads this…. thank you!

Holding Parks while he was connected to all the wires and tubes was tricky but we found a way to make it work.

The next day we began really trying to make Parks keep his bottles down. They weren’t going to let us go home until he could keep 2 ounces down 3 three times in a row. As we fed him every 3 hours this didn’t give us much room for error. Unfortunately, Parks did not keep his first few bottles down and even though we so desperately wanted to go home we realized we wouldn’t get to late that afternoon. Our child life specialist, Mary Holland, gave us some advice that afternoon I’ve started using in my everyday life. She said, “ Well, lets plan on you not going home today and then be pleasantly surprised if you do!”. I’ve started using that in sales lately, “Well they probably won’t buy from me but I’ll be pleasantly surprised if they do!”.

Parks the day after his surgery. “Just chillin”.

Parks started holding down his bottles that evening and I’d love to be able to tell you the nurse’s name we had that night but I was so tired I slept through most of the time between Parks’ feedings and during the feedings I was in a zombie like state. I’m sure that nurse was just as great as Laura Beth and Jodie but the past few days caught up with me, and well, I just don’t remember her name.

The next morning we found out early that we were going home. They removed Parks from the monitor and for the first time in 3 days I held my son with no wires or tubes attached to him as we waited for our discharge papers. That was an awesome moment and luckily my wife took a picture of his little hand on mine (with the hospital band) as we waited.

I finally got the go ahead to get the car and when we finally put him in I checked the car seat 50 times. I chugged some coffee to make sure I was awake enough to drive and then, just like that, we drove off.

I remember thinking, “I’m sure glad Le Bonheur exists but I hope we don’t to come back again. Little did I know that we would be back within 10 days. However, in the meantime our other family member, Maddox, was glad to have his little brother home. Maddox was a trooper that week as he had never spent a night alone at house in the two years we’d had him up until that point. He never had an accident and didn’t tear anything up. We we were impressed and glad to see the furry guy.

The first family walk after our return home.

Maddox didn’t want to let Parks out of his sight once we got home.

Every dad I talked to prior to my son being born told me it would happen and it just didn’t register because I had heard it so many times.

“As soon as you see your child for the first time your entire outlook on life changes completely”, they told me.

Many guys I’ve talked to can’t remember their emotions at that exact moment but luckily for me my mother-in-law caught it on camera the first time I saw my son.

Yep, thats my face at the exact moment I first saw my son. In that face you can see excitement, fear, shock, awe, sleep deprivation, and unconditional love. If you look at it longer I’m sure you can find more emotions but from a one second glance those are the ones I was able to come up with. The exact time this photo was taken was 6:52 pm on July 8th. My wife and I had been up since 3 am that morning when she first began feeling contractions. I did the thing all the books said to do and started writing down the times of the contractions and how long they lasted using the stopwatch on my iPhone (contraction timing – there’s an app for that).

I put “sleep deprivation” in the description of the picture above only because at the time that photo was taken I thought I was “sleep deprived” and thought  I really knew what those words meant. I didn’t. The truth is that the night (early morning) that my wife went into labor I had gone to bed at 10 pm. So I had slept a good five hours straight before she woke me up to tell me about her contractions. Not to scare any future dads expecting their first child anytime soon out there but I have not slept more than three hours in one stretch in the three weeks since my son was born. In fact, the nights we spent in the hospital were the worst as nurses and doctors came in constantly to check my on my wife and baby by taking their vital signs, blood pressure, etc… The longest stretch of sleep in the hospital uninterrupted may have been 90 minutes.

I hadn’t slept much in the days leading up to his birth either. The week before our son was born we had a terrible storm in Memphis and I woke up one morning to the damage in the pictures you see below:

It was the middle of summer in the south with temperatures near 100 degrees and my pregnant wife (who was already sweating when I had the AC on 65 degrees in the house) was going to have to deal with no power and AC for who knows how long. If my wife went into labor we would’t even be able to bring our son home to his nursery that we had worked so hard on. The insurance claims department wasn’t much help and it would eventually take the adjuster 3 weeks to view the damage (after we were home with my son). Luckily we had a great contractor who was able to get the majority of the work finished in just a few days after getting approval from our local agency. However, I will always be able to tell my son that I met our homeowner’s insurance deductible and our health insurance deductible within the same seven day period in July 2015.

I learned pretty quickly that there is no fairy tale wand that makes all the world perfect when you become a parent. The problems you had before the baby will still be there after the baby comes….you’ll just care about those other problems (including lack of sleep) a whole lot less….

That moment I became a dad changed everything just like every other dad had always told me. I just didn’t grasp it until that moment and until you’re a dad for the first time…you won’t either.

I think my favorite part of that day besides seeing my son for the first time was seeing both of my parents get to see my son for the first time. They both drove separately from Georgia after I called early that morning to say that the hospital had decided to keep  us and that “this is it”. My mom got to the hospital a few hours before our son was born and my dad got there a few hours after. As I watched them look my son I realized that the torch had been passed.

My identity was no longer kid, sales rep, athlete, journalist, Ole Miss Grad (Hotty Toddy!) or anything I had been referred to in the past. I was now  “husband and dad” and I realized that raising the baby that came screaming into this world a few hours earlier would be my greatest legacy when I looked back on my life 50 years from now.  I also realized that he would totally consume my life from here on out (hence this blog).